National Grief Awareness Week 2025

National Grief Awareness Week (December 2-8) is a time for everyone to raise awareness about grief and the impact it can have. When someone is grieving, there is so often the worry from other people about saying the wrong thing, upsetting them even more, or not knowing what to say at all. The most important thing to remember is to be genuine and be yourself. Sometimes, just being there to listen is all that a grieving person needs.

Talking about our losses can also be so supportive, because even though we’re not trying to pretend we know how someone feels, we’re letting them know that we know what it feels like to lose someone close to us. Grief is a natural response to loss and the more we feel able to talk about it, the more we can process it and help others to do the same.

I’m sure it’s not a coincidence that the event is held so close to Christmas. It’s a time of year when there can be so many expectations on us to make plans and make merry, but it can also be a difficult time that reminds us of the people we have lost and the Christmases we used to share with them.

Talking about our feelings is always helpful but it can be hard to offload or open our hearts to even our closest friend at Christmas, because we’re extra-conscious of how busy a time it is for them. That’s why talking therapy is so important, because it gives you a non-judgemental and confidential space to talk about your feelings and your loses. If you feel like you want to talk about your bereavement, whether it’s recent or more historic, find out more about counselling in Chorley online or by getting in contact with me.

International Men’s Day

Today is International Men’s Day and a huge part of its focus is recognising men’s mental health and encouraging them to make their well-being a priority. Of course, mental and physical health are linked, which is why that’s a focus of the day too. It’s one that gives us the opportunity to increase visibility, raise awareness and start conversations.

Suicide is the biggest killer of men under 50. And, while alcohol and drug use can lead to suicidal behaviour, relationship issues and diagnosed depression are also big contributing factors. It can be hard for people who have never felt depressed, never needed to rely on a substance to get them through life or never lost a partner to understand why someone would resort to taking their own life.

That’s why we need to continue to have difficult conversations, address these issues and above all, encourage men to reach out for help. It costs nothing to check in on someone you know who you think may be struggling. Instead of asking ‘how’s things?’ you can just let them know you’re there, and willing to talk. People are so much more able to share what’s on their mind when they don’t feel the pressure to give you the answer that they think you want to hear.

And if you’re reading this thinking about finding some support for yourself, here’s some people who will be able to help.

Samaritans – www.samaritans.org

Andy’s Man Club – andysmanclub.co.uk

Campaign Against Living Miserably https://www.thecalmzone.net

World Mental Health Day 2025

It’s been quite a while since my last blog post. Since then, I’ve been taking my own advice on the subject of summer and self-care and now here we are, almost half way through autumn.

I thought that it would be especially appropriate to post on #worldmentalhealthday because the more people I speak to, the more it seems there’s a growing awareness of the effect that world affairs is having on our own mental health. Whether it’s doom-scrolling until the small hours or instantly clicking on the latest news alert, there’s certainly a lot of challenging things going on in the world at the moment to grab our attention and fuel our anxiety.

How we deal with those things is directly linked to our own mental health and if we have our own more personal issues to process too, it can feel sometimes like the world is conspiring against us. Even if you’re reading this thinking ‘actually I’m alright’ – be sure to check in with friends and loved ones or anyone close to you. Sometimes just saying ‘I’m not OK’ is the hardest step for someone in distress, so offering them the opportunity to share what’s on their mind can be a huge help.

If you are looking for a more structured form of support with your mental health, I offer both walk and talk sessions outdoors and online sessions, so just get in contact with me to find out more.

Summer and self-care

Self care is such a buzz phrase these days, but that doesn’t mean mean we should dismiss it as just another marketing fad or simply a tick-box exercise.

As a counsellor, I’m aware of how important that self care is for me and what I do. I need time away from the mentally-demanding work that I do, so that I can come back refreshed and renewed. If I’m not looking after myself, then it makes it so much more difficult for me to help others.

But what about you? Whether you’re currently having counselling, have done so in the past or have never tried it, self care is something that you should be thinking about. The summer is seen as a time where we retreat from our troubles, whether we’re jumping on a plane or ship, or enjoying time away from home in out own country. But how often do we actually think of how important that is for our well-being, rather than just do it out of instinct or routine?

This holiday, make sure you’re being completely aware of your self care. Set aside some time that is just for you and nobody else. That doesn’t mean you won’t get relaxation and enjoyment out of being around friends and family – of course you will – but time just for you is so important. Here’s a couple of ideas:

Holiday reading is the perfect example of self care – after all, there’s nothing like a little escapism to ease the mind. And when it’s by the pool or on the beach, even better.

Journaling is an often quoted self-care method but it’s not for everybody. If it doesn’t appeal to you, how about working on a ‘Have done’ list? Whether you’re a ‘to-do list’ person or not, simply taking stock of the good things you’ve achieved this year – no matter how small – can be a great way of reminding you what you’re capable of, and importantly of the good memories, too.

Whatever you’re doing this summer, take care of yourself. And if you want a non-judgemental space to talk about whatever is troubling you, please don’t hesitate to get in contact.

Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month

June is Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month. It’s a reminder that, for a lot of men, there is still the expectation to be strong, to not show emotion and not to acknowledge mental health as a legitimate concern. Though I’m heartened by seeing male celebrities being open about their mental health struggles on TV and in the media, they are still fighting to be heard over the noise of toxic masculinity which is prevalent in some corners of the internet and social media.

The truth is, mental health and physical health have always been and continue to be linked. A holistic, joined-up approach to them is key for anyone, let alone any man, when it comes to living healthily. If we neglect our bodies, they’ll let us down in the end, and that’s no different from our minds. Walk and talk therapy combines a therapeutic space with a little physical exercise, so it’s a great way to exercise your body and your mind.

So, if you have a life issue that you’re keen to talk about but can’t seem to find the right time or place to do so, my walk and talk therapy sessions could be a great fit for you. Talking side-by-side and not face-to-face can make all the difference when it comes to exploring what’s on your mind, and being outdoors is a boost to your mental health in itself.

Have something you’d like to talk about? Get in contact today to arrange a consultation call and find out more about how I work.

Dying Matters Awareness Week

May 5th-11th is Dying Matters Awareness Week – a yearly campaign by Hospice UK to spread awareness of death and dying. It often comes up in conversation for me with friends, family and clients too, about the ‘British reserve’ – the reluctance to speak about death and dying, or more specifically, reach out for help and admit that we’re struggling. People talk about how they were ‘brought up that way’ or ‘it’s how my parents were about things’, and that’s true, we inherit so many values from our parents.

As someone who has experienced childhood loss, I sometimes think if having bereavement therapy as a child would have made me a different person today. I often describe how ‘I got through it with the help of my imagination’ and maybe that’s true. However, one thing I have learned is that a lot of things that happen to us can lay unprocessed for a long time, and can often emerge when we least expect it.

Whether you have suffered a more recent loss, or feel that you have a loss that you haven’t processed, it’s important to know that there is no time limit on grief. Another thing to remember is that loss isn’t just about bereavement – loss can mean lots of things, such as family and relationship breakdown, job loss, or loss of purpose.

The theme of this year’s week is The Culture of Dying Matters. It’s a reminder that, while grief is a common thing that unites us, different cultures address it in different ways. Exploring that can be useful for you if you’re grieving but it can also help you to help others. Follow the link to find out more and don’t hesitate to reach out to me if you feel like you need some support in working through your loss.

Mixed emotion on Mother’s Day

Here in the UK at least, Sunday 30th March is Mother’s Day. Like so many ‘days’ dotted throughout our diaries and calendars, it has become so associated with spending money and marketing that it’s easy to lose sight of what the day actually means for different people.

I for one am encouraged that many companies and businesses now provide options for people to unsubscribe to their ‘day’-related marketing emails, whatever they may be. It’s an acknowledgement that this day can be difficult for some people, whether they have lost their mothers or have a mother who is so seriously ill that she cannot enjoy the day.

Whether like me you lost your mum a long time ago or recently, Mother’s Day can be difficult, and every chain pub sign and TV greetings card advert is an unintentional but no less poignant reminder that she’s no longer here. However, in recent times, as well as clicking ‘unsubscribe’ wherever possible, I’ve also tried to have some more positive experiences on Mother’s Day, whether that’s a quiet moment at the crematorium where my mother’s ashes lie, or time spent with my mother-in-law enjoying some food and plenty of conversation. I’ve learned that positive memories are important and they can always help us through difficult times.

Whether you’ve lost your mother, father or friend, I have plenty of experience with loss and bereavement both professional and personal, so please don’t hesitate to get in touch to arrange a no-obligation consultation call.

World Cancer Day 2025

Today, February 4th, is World Cancer Day.

It’s a fact that almost one in two of us will get cancer in our lifetime. That means that all of us will likely be touched by it in some way. Certainly, cancer has touched my family, just as I know it will have touched many of yours. Losing family members to cancer at different points in my life is what set me on the path to becoming a counsellor, though I didn’t necessarily know it at the time.

As I often tell people when they ask about what made me want to become a counsellor, it was one single call to the Samaritans when I was feeling overwhelmed following the loss of a parent. I reached out because I didn’t want to burden other family members who were grieving themselves. We’d had multiple losses that year, so it made this reaching out even harder. I just wanted someone impartial to share my feelings with.

And that’s very much what talking therapy is. Whether you yourself or a family member have been affected by cancer or if you have another important life issue you want to talk about, counselling offers you an impartial non-judgemental space to talk about whatever is troubling you.

Cancer charities such as Cancer Research UK and Marie Curie have lots of useful information, helplines and resources and can signpost you to the relevant support you need, but if you want to talk, I’m here to listen, so get in contact with me to organise a free, no obligation consultation call.

Realistic resolutions

Happy New Year. I hope you had an enjoyable festive season, however you spent it.

By now, you’re probably already a bit tired of seeing ‘new year, new you’ messages piling up in your inbox, from all manner of companies, talking about all manner of goals, aims and ideas. There is of course, nothing wrong with using the new year as an incentive to set some goals and aims for the year ahead, but it’s important to not feel pressured to do this in a certain way.

Here’s some tips to get you started:

  • Write your goals down – there’s nothing quite like a to-do list to keep you focussed.
  • Make your goals realistic and achievable – there’s nothing more disheartening than taking on too much in one go…
  • So break big goals down – big tasks are achievable if you split them up into small tasks.
  • Make your goals personal to you and don’t feel pressured to match or copy the goals of others.
  • Above all, be patient.

And if 2024 was a difficult year for you, whether that’s because of the loss of someone you cared for, a change of circumstances or relationship issues, make sure one of your resolutions is to support yourself for the year ahead. Reaching out to trusted friends and family is always helpful, but it’s not always easy or appropriate to talk about our issues with the ones we love.

If that’s the case, just get in contact with me and we can arrange a free, no obligation consultation to talk about your issues and a little more about how I work.

National Grief Awareness Week

National Grief Awareness Week (December 2-8) is a time for organisations and individuals alike to raise awareness about grief and the impact it can have. When someone is grieving, there is so often the worry from other people about saying the wrong thing, upsetting them even more, or not knowing what to say at all. The most important thing to remember is to be genuine and be yourself. Sometimes, just being there to listen is all that a grieving person needs.

Talking about our losses can also be so supportive, because even though we’re not trying to pretend we know how someone feels, we’re letting them know that we know what it feels like to lose someone close to us. Grief is a natural response to loss and the more we feel able to talk about it, the more we can process it and help others to do the same.

I’m sure it’s not a coincidence that The Good Grief Trust – a fantastic organisation that leads the week – hosts the event so close to Christmas. It’s a time of year when there can be so many expectations on us to make plans and make merry, but it can also be a difficult time that reminds us of the people we have lost and the Christmases we used to share with them. Maybe you yourself are facing your first Christmas without someone very close to you, or maybe you always find it a difficult time of year.

Talking about our feelings is always helpful but it can be hard to offload or open our hearts to even our closest friend at Christmas, because we’re extra-conscious of how busy a time it is for them. That’s why talking therapy is so important, because it gives you a non-judgemental and confidential space to talk about your feelings and your loses. If you feel like you want to talk about your bereavement, whether it’s recent or more historic, find out more about counselling in Chorley online or by getting in contact with me.