When I’m working with bereaved and pre-bereaved people, the idea of making memories comes up in our sessions quite a lot. So too do the memories themselves, and those are quite often ones made on holidays in the client’s past. After all, it’s the time when we are escaping the daily grind for a couple of weeks, spending quality time together and, well, making memories.
The first summer after the death of a loved one can be a very difficult time for the bereaved. It could remind them of the fact that they won’t be going on holiday again with the person who has died and suddenly, the world seems full of happy couples all escaping to sunnier climes. It can also be a difficult time for those who have suffered other losses, such as the loss of a career which provided them with the income to afford the holiday they wanted, or a disability or illness which has made it impossible for them to travel overseas any more.
I also hear people talk about friends being reluctant to speak to them after a loss – perhaps it’s fear of saying the wrong thing, or not knowing what to say. It’s important to remember that the person who has suffered the death of a loved one has already been through a very traumatic experience. Offering to spend a little time with them over the summer, even if it is just asking them to go out for a coffee, will never be ‘the wrong thing’. It’s also important to support them if they feel like they want to share some of the memories they’ve made on previous holidays, because it is a natural part of the grieving process.
If you want a non-judgemental space to talk about your loss, or whatever else is troubling you, please don’t hesitate to get in contact.
Inside & Outside Counselling 